Sheryl Crow has a song entitled, “Light In Your Eyes,” in which she sings: “You gotta talk to the One who made you/Talk to the One who understands/Talk to the One who gave you…All the light in your eyes.” The song is truly uplifting, and you can read here to get a more detailed account about how I feel.
So, I’d thought I give it a shot…with y’all looking over my shoulder. Yes, I do talk to God five times a day. But, this is different. Just look and see…
Most Magnificent and Glorious Lord and Creator,
All Praise is due to Thee, O Lord, My Sustainer, My Beloved, My Loving God. I know that You Know what is in me, while I do not know what is in Thee. Yet, it helps me to write this letter to Thee, and thus I beg Your pardon and indulgence. Lord, You have given me so much in this life. You have blessed me with so much, and yet I do not deserve it. So many times have I sinned against Thee; so many times have I disregarded what You told me to do; so many times have I forgotten that You were there watching me. Yet, You did not strike me down, and I am forever grateful. I don’t know how to show my face before Your Holy Face; I don’t know how to speak before the Light of Thy Countenance. Yet, You allow me to do so, and I am eternally grateful.
I don’t deserve anything You have given me, yet I ask, and ask, and ask of You unendingly. And You keep giving me. You never get tired of hearing my selfish pleas. You never turn Your Holy Face from me. Lord, thank you. Thank you for your Grace, Generosity, Love, Mercy, and Forgiveness. Lord, thank you so very much.
Lord, growing up was so very hard for me. I tried so much to do what You told me to do, but it was hard. I kept getting made fun of, ridiculed, and harassed by those who did not believe in You like I did. It was so hard, Lord. I felt so alone on so many occasions. Furthermore, I was so afraid of being punished by You. I was raised to fear sinning so that “nothing happens to me.” So, I stayed straight as best as I could. I had a lot of things I wanted from you: to be valedictorian of my high school class, to go to medical school, to get married, have a family, and on, and on, and on. Thus, I figured, to get what I want, I have to do what He wants.
Looking back, it was really a selfish thing to do. I should do the things You want because of You, because I love You, because You have blessed me with so much, and I have done nothing to deserve it. I should have been like the Prophet (Your peace and blessings be upon him) and said, ‘Should I not be a grateful servant?’ But, I wasn’t. I was a selfish servant. Yet, Lord, You did not mind. You still gave me. You still listened to my selfish covetousness. You still looked at me when I sinned against You. You were still there for me. You did not forget about me, even though I forgot about You time and time again. Lord, thank you.
I am so happy that I stayed true to Your commands as best I could when I was growing up. I would do it all over again, Lord. You are so worth it, my Beloved. No matter how hard it was, I could not fathom living in the darkness that is void of Your Light. It was Your blessing that allowed me to stay on Your path, and yet You reward me for it. Lord, thank you.
My Most Magnificent Lord, thank you for everything. Please forgive me for all that I have done. Forgive my trespasses, forgive my lapses, forgive the oppression that I have committed against my own soul. I sincerely thank you for letting me write to You like this. I’m so sorry for sinning against You; please shower me with Your soothing Mercy. In Your Most Holy Name do I ask these things, Amen.
This is the first of many forthcoming “Letters to God” that I will post on God, Faith, and a Pen. It is so therapeutic for me, and I encourage you to write your own letters and send them to me. God bless.